Every time Tyler Jennings looked at the clock it was 11:34 in the morning or evening. A friend had pointed out on a digital clock 11:34 was hell upside down. It wasn't until he got hit by a tanker driving home his Toyota 4Runner that he noticed the time on the clock. He was T-boned and rolled a few times but somehow walked away without a single injury. The moment lasted forever and didn't seem real at the time. Everything was in slow motion and his entire life seemed to occur in a single moment. He felt lucky to be alive but felt like he was in a cloud. Tyler was always kind of lost in a dream and would sometimes see events unfold in the future but no matter how hard he tried it would play out the same. It was like watching himself do something and have no control. It was the same feeling he got when he woke up from R.E.M. sleep, no matter how hard he tried to move his body was unable to respond. The difference was when he had a vision his body would be on autopilot and all he could do was suffer the consequences of the action. He thought about religious persons such as a sage or someone in deep meditation could reach an enlightened point where time became an illusion. One such day dream before the wreck he had a vision of a German Shepherd mix puppy out marking it's territory on the trees surrounding the property. He asked a friend out helping him with a project if he had seen the puppy and where it might of came from. Tyler lived a few miles from the nearest neighbors. Probably some asshole that didn't want a puppy dropped it off in the middle of nowhere. The friend did not see the dog and upon further investigation Tyler couldn't find the tracks to find the puppy. A few months later he responded to an ad for free puppies, German Shepherd mix. The vision was of his favorite dog Bear but before he was even born. This wasn't the first time something like this had happened. Tyler wondered if time was an illusion and if what was observed as reality occurred in a singular event. What we perceive as time is just the way for the brain to make sense of things. Maybe all of the quantum mechanics concepts being talked about made him wonder about the strange properties of reality. In his visions he had seen a Buddha like character and other beings that seemed to exist on this plain beyond time. They seemed to tell him everything without ever speaking a word. It scared Tyler to find something deep in his mind that seemed to be taking notice of him. Tyler had never been a religious person so the idea of a being hiding deep in the mind was an uncomfortable thought. He got the feeling that not all of them were good beings. Some of them provoked self doubt and put what seemed to be discouraging thoughts in his mind like being called stupid and useless but without any words. Tyler was not crazy, there were no voices in his head but more of deep feelings. After he was hit by the truck it seemed like he was being sucked out of this reality and put into another. The balance had shifted to negative rather than a balanced good and bad. Tyler began to wonder if he had actually died in the wreck or maybe he was supposed to. Never ask for wisdom he thought it comes with a heavy price. To be dumb and fun is a much easier way to live. To think deeply is to suffer from a thousand thoughts a second. Everything he looked at his mind dissected down to the sub atomic level. It was an overload of information. He seemed to be able to feel his surroundings and the life around him from the animals, plants, and insects down to the microbes not visible to the eye. Being around people was the worst he seemed to feel everything they felt and think everything they thought. People often strived to reach this level of existence but it was a curse for Tyler. Getting hit by that truck opened something up but it didn't seem like a good thing. Things that used to make him feel good like a beautiful woman's smile was not the same. He felt the insecurity rather than enjoying the outward personality. He could only look through people and could no longer see them. The clock bothered him because no matter how hard he tried to remember to observe the clock throughout the day he could not. He could only see it at 11:34. His patience which he was known for seemed to be replaced by a short temper. Everything and everyone around him seemed to be dying or no longer talked to him. It seemed as if the rug was being pulled out on every goal he set. Before he knew it he found himself loosing his long time job because of circumstance and not anything he did wrong. Whatever his destiny was he was fighting it. He needed to become like the river again seeking the easiest path rather than forcing his way up a mountain. He envisioned loosing all of his friends and all the things he cared about and could not change the predetermined events. He needed to quit fighting destiny and let the flow take him away. He thought about absolute zero and how a particle would become a wave. This was happening to his reality. Maybe he was on the edge of one perception trying to transfer into another. No matter what Tyler could only move forward he knew he couldn't die even if he wanted to until he found whatever it was he was being driven to find. Something was calling him and he didn't know what it was. Holding on to his old life was no longer possible. Who he once was, was no longer staring back at him in the mirror. He wanted his mind to stop and learn to become patient and content again. Whatever it was he needed to endure he could not run or hide from it would find him. His life had been good, not the best but not the worst existence somewhere in the middle. The dreams an visions began to be more vivid. He would wake up from what seemed to be a dream and find himself at a job interview watching himself do the interview but also be somewhere else at the same time. His body was on autopilot even though his mind was drifting away. The only time he was grounded in reality is when he looked at the clock at 11:34.
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